


I Swear I See Your Face Everywhere I Go

by alex_caligari



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) Fusion, Crossover, M/M, They solve crime, episodic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-07-12 16:23:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19949248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alex_caligari/pseuds/alex_caligari
Summary: “Okay, fine,” Lance said. “Iverson was terrible in every aspect of life. And now we’ll probably get a paperwork-loving, pencil-pushing, robot captain and the rest of our careers will become a joyless black hole.”





	1. Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> All I know about police procedure I learned from television.

“I can’t believe we have to get a new captain,” Lance groused. “Why couldn’t we keep our old captain?”

“Because Iverson was terrible and eight years past the age of retirement,” Keith said without looking up from his paperwork.

“Iverson never should have retired. He was the best.”

Keith gave him a flat look over his desk. “Iverson was an idiot who complained about ‘hoodlums’ giving people cancer with their cell phones.”

Lance shrugged. “Okay, maybe he had some stodgy opinions, but he was super relaxed about the rules.”

“He let you do whatever you wanted because he thought you would end up like Varkon and Escort and never amount to anything.” Keith shrugged. “His words, not mine.”

Lance glanced over to the two older detectives currently comparing ear size. “Okay, fine,” he said. “Iverson was terrible in every aspect of life. And now we’ll probably get a paperwork-loving, pencil-pushing, robot captain and the rest of our careers will become a joyless black hole.”

He saw Keith’s gaze catch on something behind him, and he had a second of realization before a voice said, “Interesting theory. Of course, you wouldn’t survive a black hole, so you wouldn’t have to worry about finding joy in the nanoseconds you had left before being crushed into atoms.”

Lance jumped up from his chair and faced a tall woman in dress blues and captain’s stripes. “Hey, Captain, how’s it going? Welcome to the precinct. Can I show you around?” He heard Keith snickering behind him.

“No need, Detective...” Her eyes dropped to the nameplate on his desk. “McClain. I’ll be meeting everyone individually after I get set up in my office.” She nodded to each of them as she walked past. “Good day.”

Keith sat there with a smug grin. “Great first impression.”

“She surprised me,” Lance hissed. “She had the element of surprise. The one-on-one will go better, trust me.”

Keith only shook his head. “I can’t wait to see this.”

&&&

Capt. Allura D’Altea opened the blinds in her office. “Tell me about your squad, Sgt. Shirogane.”

“Call me Shiro, Captain. I don’t mind the informality.”

D’Altea nodded. “I can make that concession.”

Shiro pointed at the desk closest to them. “That’s Katie Holt. She used to work in Cyber Crimes before transferring here.”

“Right, the Gunderson case. It involved her brother, didn’t it?”

Shiro got the feeling that D’Altea already knew everything about the Gunderson case and just wanted to see how he described it. “Matt Holt, yeah. He was undercover with an anarchist group and was getting close to learning their next target when he sent encrypted messages back instead of his usual briefings. Turned out it was a code from his childhood, so the brass called in Katie.” Shiro couldn’t help the smile. “She not only cracked his code and learned what the target was, she went undercover herself and pulled him out when it all went sideways.”

D’Altea hummed. “She’s also the one who got a confession out of Jeffrey Sendack for the dirty water scandal, yes?”

“She’s scarier than she looks, sir.” They watched as Holt scowled at her screen and muttered in angry Italian as she opened a new window filled with indecipherable code. “On the plus side,” Shiro continued, “we haven’t had an IT issue in four years.”

“Good to know,” D’Altea said.

“Next up is Hunk Garrett.” He pointed to a desk further down. “He works hard, and he’s good in a tight spot; he’s cautious, thinks things through, doesn’t go in guns blazing. Although—” He shrugged as D’Altea glanced at him. “Sometimes he gets a little too emotionally invested.”

She considered this. “How is he with children?”

Shiro blinked. “Kids? He’s great. He always volunteers to do the school visits.” At D’Altea’s grave expression, he stopped. “Oh, you mean—he’s fine, sir. Those cases get to everybody, but Garrett tries to balance out the bad with the good. He stays in touch with some of the people he’s helped. He says it keeps him grounded.”

She nodded, satisfied.

“Then there’s Varkon and Escort.” Shiro rubbed the back of his neck. “In all honesty, they don’t go out much, but they do well on the easy cases the other detectives might, ah, be bored by.”

“They’re the filter feeders.”

“Exactly.” Shiro gestured to the desks on the opposite side of the bullpen. “Keith Kogane. Insanely competitive, but never loses track of the case. He’s kind of awkward with people and can get a little intense with some things. Stubborn, meticulous, intuitive, and doesn’t let anyone get in his way.”

“Are these virtues or vices, Sergeant?”

“With Kogane, they’re usually both. He’s a model detective, second only to—” Shiro pointed to the last desk. “Lance McClain.”

“Yes, we’ve met.” D’Altea’s expression was placid, but her tone held a trace of amusement.

“He’s great at his job. He’s the best on the firing range, loves helping people, and sees every case as a puzzle to solve.” They watched McClain pull out his phone and wave Kogane over. Kogane jumped back as a loud bleating echoed through the bullpen, and McClain burst into laughter. “The only puzzle he hasn’t solved,” Shiro sighed, “is how to grow up.”

D’Altea turned to him. “Well put, Sergeant.”

“He comes up a lot in my mandated therapy.”

“Yes, about that.” D’Altea gestured that Shiro take a seat as she settled in on the other side of the desk. “I heard about the accident. How are you?”

“I’m alright.” Shiro flexed his right hand. “The scars pull a little, but the pins are holding well.”

“It was your firing arm, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I’ve been doing physio and trying to get my grip strength back up, but it’s slow-going.”

“Healing always is.” D’Altea glanced down and cleared her throat. “You’ve been on desk duty since then and have given no sign you’re unhappy with this.”

“No, sir.” He glanced down before meeting D’Altea’s gaze. “I don’t think I’m ready to be out in the field just yet.”

“Then we’ll keep your status unchanged until you indicate otherwise.” She pulled a file folder towards her. “Now, tell me about the latest arrest numbers.”

&&&

Lance knocked on the captain’s open door. “You wanted to see me, sir?”

“Yes,” she said. “Please have a seat. I want to get to know my detectives face-to-face, away from their colleagues and the potential for any showboating.” She raised a delicate eyebrow.

“Heh, yeah, sorry about that robot captain comment. It was just, you know, our last captain was pretty relaxed with the rules.”

“I have read Iverson’s file. He was eccentric, let’s say.” D’Altea spread her hands on the desk. “We will not follow his example. I want this to be the best precinct in all of Brooklyn and to do that, I need everyone to pull together.”

“And I couldn’t agree more,” Lance said. “That’s why I’m willing to take on the hardest, biggest, most perp-filled cases—”

“I know about the bet,” D’Altea interrupted.

“Er, what?”

“The bet you have with Det. Kogane about who can make the most arrests. I saw your scoreboard in the briefing room and Coran told me all about it.”

“That snitch.” Lance looked out the captain’s window to see the civilian liaison watching them. He caught Lance’s glare and smiled sheepishly.

“If I had my way, you both would forget about something so childish and focus on your jobs. But—” D’Altea sighed. “Your sergeant assures me that the competition has actually increased your arrest numbers, so I will overlook it on this occasion.”

Lance grinned. “Are you sure? Because if you told Kogane to forget it while I’m still ahead, he’d lose his mind trying to argue and respect you at the same time.”

“McClain.”

“Right. Quit while I’m ahead, got it. With you, not Kogane. I’ll never quit when it’s his pride and self-respect on the line.”

D’Altea had already turned to her computer. “Please send in Kogane on your way out.”

“You got it, Captain.” He spun on his heel and waltzed out the door. “You’re up, buttkisser,” he said to Keith. “And just so you know, the captain and I are like this—” He held up two crossed fingers. “—so you have no chance of weaselling in.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure your personality will do that for me soon enough,” Keith said as he stood up.

As Keith closed the door of the office behind him, Holt sidled over to Lance’s desk. “You be careful with the captain,” she said. “She’s like Batman.”

“Oh, yeah, Pidge?” Lance said. “Did she go train in a mountaintop hideaway with a bunch of ninjas?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, and don’t call me that.”

“No can do, my man,” Lance replied. “When a crime boss gives you a nickname, you don’t just abandon it the second you get back to civilian life.”

“It wasn’t a nickname, it was my cover.”

“And you burned it the second you karate-chopped said crime boss in the neck.” Lance gripped his own neck in a parody of the injured man and rasped out, “Pidge! I forever curse the name of Pidge!”

“It didn’t happen like that and stop changing the subject.” She rested one hip on his desk. “Did you read up on the captain at all?”

“No. How different can she be from every other captain?”

“I heard she hunted down the CD Strangler in the nineties,” Hunk piped up.

“I heard she jumped into the Hudson to save a bus full of drowning schoolchildren,” added Varkon.

“And I heard she pulled a bullet out of her leg and used it to shoot her kidnapper,” said Escort.

“Okay, all of those are obviously made up,” Lance said. “Except for the CD Strangler, because that sounds cool as hell. How old would she have been, like twelve?”

“Nobody knows,” Pidge said, waggling her fingers. “It’s one of her many mysteries.”

Lance looked at the closed blinds of the captain’s office. “She is Batman.”

&&&

The first week was rocky. Everyone needed to find their new place with D’Altea, and Lance was having the hardest time of all.

“What possessed you to go after a murder suspect with no backup?” she said.

Lance stood on the other side of her desk, too agitated to sit. “I couldn’t waste time waiting for backup. Hodgson was right there, and we had to take our shot.”

“And how well did that work out?” D’Altea sat perfectly still, like a panther about to pounce. “Not only did he get away, but now he knows the police are looking for him. Do you know his aliases? Any friends or family he might have? Perhaps you have a list of his favourite safehouses.”

Lance blew out a breath. “No, I don’t have any of that. But Hunk—”

“Will be reassigned. He has already been injured because of your lack of forethought. I don’t want him caught in the crossfire again. _You_ will look into Hodgson’s background and find something useful.” The captain dropped her gaze to the file on her desk. “You can ask Kogane if you require assistance.”

“What, no—”

“Dismissed.”

Lance stood frozen for a moment, then turned and left before he could do something stupid. “Kogane,” he said as he passed Keith’s desk. “C’mon, you’re with me.”

“Thought you got benched,” he said as he walked with Lance to the elevator.

“No, just severely handicapped. But we’re going to find Hodgson before he disappears forever.”

“Mmhmm.” Keith carefully avoided looking at Lance as he said, “And how are you going to do that?”

The elevator doors pinged, and they stepped inside. “A guy like Hodgson needs a hideout. He’s a smuggler, right? So, he needs a place to store stuff until he can move it.” He looked over at Keith. “We’re getting his financial records and finding that hideout.”

Keith tipped his head in thought, still not looking at Lance. “Good idea, if they’re in his name. And he didn’t pay with cash. And he didn’t use one of those sketchy places that ‘loses’ their records.”

Lance scowled at him. “Can’t you just give me this? I know what I’m doing, okay?”

“Okay.” Keith shrugged. “Hey, if we get this guy, does it count as an arrest for you or for me?” He turned to Lance with a smarmy grin, and Lance knew Keith would help him out no matter what, even if he was a pain in the ass. He was annoying like that.

&&&

“You going to wait for backup this time?” Keith stood by the warehouse back exit, gun out and waiting for Lance’s order like he could stand there all fucking day.

“I—” Lance was the primary, and it was his call to make. He could go in and get Hodgson because _he was definitely in there,_ but he thought of Hunk’s bruised ribs and paused. They had no way of knowing how many goons Hodgson had with him, and there was no one to cover all the exits.

A crash from inside followed by angry Russian made up his mind. “That’s him. We’re going in.”

Keith sighed but still shouldered open the door. “NYPD, get down!”

&&&

They didn’t get Hodgson.

&&&

Shiro stood waiting by the captain’s closed door as she gave Lance another dressing down.

“Do you think he’ll come out of this any wiser?” Coran asked him.

Shiro rubbed his face. “I don’t know. You’d think with everything he’s seen, he would exercise a little caution.” He flexed his hand around the folder he carried. “I mean, this can’t just be about the bet, right? Nearly getting killed just to one-up Keith?”

Coran hummed. “Maybe he’s not competing with Keith.”

Shiro gave the other man a flat look. “I get enough of that ‘draw your own conclusions’ stuff in therapy. Don’t make me play twenty questions here, too.”

“Fine.” Coran scooted closer. “Iverson didn’t give a crap how people did their job as long as they did it. Now, we have a new captain who’s pushing everyone to be better than they were. And when your best detective is told to do better...” Coran spread his hands in an exaggerated shrug.

“You think he’s trying to impress her?”

“I think he’s hasn’t had anyone push him like this in a long time. Why do you think he goaded Keith into making the bet? He needs his muse, a beautiful, crime-fighting muse.”

D’Altea’s door flew open and Lance stormed out, not looking at anyone as he threw himself into his chair and stabbed at his keyboard.

“Yeah, well, I hope he finds it soon before either the job or the captain kills him,” Shiro said.

&&&

Lance sat in the driver’s seat of the car and tried not to fume. He never felt like more of a rookie. Here he was, the best detective in the Nine-Nine— _shut up, Kogane_ —and he was being babysat by his captain.

D’Altea seemed perfectly happy to stare out the windshield saying nothing. They were parked outside an abandoned bakery at 11 pm waiting for Hodgson to show up, and everything Lance thought to say to fill the silence was either petulant or pointless.

He’d had some rough stakeouts before, but none as awkward as this.

“How did the bet start?” D’Altea said out of the blue. “With Det. Kogane?”

Lance rubbed the back of his neck. This would not improve his standing with the captain. “We were arguing.”

“And?” D’Altea prompted.

Lance braced himself. _I guess we’re doing this._ “I was bragging about my car. I said anyone who got in it would have the time of their life.”

D’Altea frowned. “Driving it?” At Lance’s pointed look, she said, “Oh.”

“Yeah. It was stupid and kind of gross, but I got carried away. Kogane is such a pristine, goody-two-shoes, and he has that cool bike, and I just wanted to get him off-kilter.”

“But Kogane is competitive.”

Lance pointed a finger at her. “You got it. He said he would hate to be one of those someones in my car, so I egged him on, and then we made the bet about our arrest numbers. If he wins, he gets the car and if I win, he has to go on a date with me.” He caught D’Altea’s brief lip curl and added, “Sex not mandatory, obviously.” He laughed. “In fact, I’m planning the worst date in the world. Terrible outfits, awful tourist stuff, bad music, it’s going to be amazing.”

D’Altea shook her head, a small smile flitting on her face. “The Nine-Nine certainly has an interesting dynamic.”

He looked at her for a second, then said, “Okay, my turn for an honest answer: Why are you so uptight about going in as a team?”

She paused for so long Lance thought she was angry at him again. Then she said, “Because my father had the same solo attitude you do and it got him killed. Capt. Alfor D’Altea.” She heaved in a deep breath. “He was going after his former partner, Alexander Zarkon, who was corrupted. He thought he could talk Zarkon down, so he didn’t wait for backup. Then Zarkon shot him.” She looked at him with a steely gaze. “I told myself that I would not make his mistakes. I’m not losing anyone from my squad today.”

Lance’s breath caught in his chest. “Captain, I—I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It is not something I like to discuss publicly.”

He didn’t know what to say to that. The buzzing of his phone saved him from further social faux pas. He showed the text to D’Altea. “Pidge said she saw Hodgson’s car pull into the alley behind the bakery. She can take the rear with Keith.” He chewed his lip. “You want to take the front with me?”

Allura watched him and waited. He didn’t drop his gaze. “I’ll get my gun.”

Lance smiled. “I got your back, Captain.”

&&&

Hodgson was sweating in one of the interview rooms and two of his cohorts were in holding. It had been a good night, and Lance added three more arrests to his tally.

“Didn’t Keith get Tweaker Mr. Rogers?” Pidge asked, pointing over her shoulder to the cohort with a bright red cardigan. Seriously, what self-respecting criminal wore a cardigan?

Lance grumbled as he changed the numbers.

“It pays to be accurate,” Pidge said with a smug grin.

“Hey, speaking of accurate.” He punched Pidge on the arm. “When you said the captain was like Batman, I didn’t know you meant the tragic back-story part.”

She punched him back harder. “Then you should have done your homework, nitwit.”

He rubbed his arm. “Yeah, well, it all worked out, didn’t it? We had a bonding moment, I learned a lesson about the power of friendship, yadda, yadda, yadda, everything’s fine.”

Pidge cocked her brow.

“It is,” Lance insisted. “D’Altea and I are like this. For real this time.” He held up his crossed fingers.

“So, she’s part of the team now?”

Lance looked out the briefing room window and watched D’Altea talk with Shiro. The sergeant had always been a little tense around Iverson because of his lax attitude and chaotic nature. And that was even before Shiro’s accident. But he looked at ease now. He looked...proud.

It twisted something in Lance’s chest that now Shiro could speak with pride of his squad. D’Altea did that. “Yeah,” he said. “She’s part of the team.”


	2. The Bet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Keith Kogane,” McClain called as the confetti fluttered to the floor. He lowered himself to one knee and presented Keith with a tiny red box. “You have made me the happiest man on Earth. Will you go on the worst date ever with me? You have to say yes.” He opened the box to reveal a cheap plastic ring.

Keith stared in horror at the line of johns being paraded past him. There were at least fifteen, more than enough to tip the arrest numbers into McClain’s favour with no hope of Keith catching up in the five minutes before the bet’s deadline.

A deadline McClain was obnoxiously counting down. He was even playing the _Jeopardy!_ theme on his phone. “And zero,” he said. “Boys, hit it!”

Confetti cannons exploded and an honest-to-god brass marching band appeared playing “For He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.” Everyone was staring at Keith standing in the middle of the bullpen with the blood draining out of his face.

“Keith Kogane,” McClain called as the confetti fluttered to the floor. He lowered himself to one knee and presented Keith with a tiny red box. “You have made me the happiest man on Earth. Will you go on the worst date ever with me? You have to say yes.” He opened the box to reveal a cheap plastic ring.

For a second, Keith considered how many of his fellow detectives he could get on his side if he murdered Lance now. “Yes,” he grumbled.

“He said yes,” McClain crowed. He twirled around in celebration before facing Keith. “I hope I got your size right because the suit I rented is definitely too big for you.”

Pidge would help him hide the body. Coran would start a social media campaign to drum up sympathy. Hunk might be upset, but then he would finally be able to put his Best Friend Funeral plan into action. Keith thought it included authentic Greek mourners.

“You die tomorrow,” he growled.

“Then that just means I get to spend the rest of my life with you,” McClain said. “And I die knowing that I beat you.”

&&&

The suit was indeed atrocious. It was a deep maroon colour that wouldn’t have been out of place on Keith’s grandmother’s couch and made Keith himself look like he was recovering from jaundice. It was also itchy as hell.

“How are the shoulders too broad, but the sleeves too short?” He pulled at the cuffs. “Who was this made for?”

McClain grinned. He was decked out in jorts and a tank top under a blazer. “Don’t you like it, darling? I spent all of $40 on that suit for you.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t save the money and rummage through the dumpster.” Keith tried rolling up the cuffs on the absurd too-narrow-but-also-too-long pant legs.

“Nah, I would have had to fight Jimmy the homeless man, and he rules his territory with an iron fist, which he hides inside a sock puppet. Pretty good misdirection, if you ask me.” He held out his arm. “Now, my dear, we shall stop at Shaw’s bar, where all our friends and colleagues are awaiting our grand entrance.”

“Are you going to talk like that all night?”

“If it annoys you, then yes. Oh, wait, one more thing.” He grabbed Keith by the shoulders and stared at him with an unusually serious expression. “There’s only one rule tonight.”

“What?”

“No matter what happens, you’re not allowed to fall in love with me.”

Keith snorted. “Won’t be a problem.”

&&&

Lance hung up the phone and walked back to Kogane standing under a streetlight like a gangster clown. He had really tried to make that suit work, and oh boy, did it not.

“Bad news, Times Square will have to be put on hold. The captain wants us to stake out a drop-site for stolen goods.”

“Oh, thank god,” Kogane said. “I did not want to see what you had planned for Times Square.”

“Aw, babe, you mean you didn’t like the flash mob fire spinners?”

Kogane shot him a saccharine smile. “Especially when they spelled out ‘Kogane is a doofus’ in sparklers.”

“Yeah, that was a nice touch.” He checked the address D’Altea had sent him. “Anyway, we need to change and get to our stakeout point. It’s a couple blocks that way.”

Twenty minutes later, they were camped out on the roof with Kogane eyeing Lance’s crazy-survivalist-sized bag of peanuts. “What?” Lance said.

“I didn’t say anything,” Kogane replied.

“You didn’t have to. I can read your eyebrows.” He stuffed a handful of nuts into his mouth.

The lines around Keith’s eyes crinkled in a way that Lance knew meant he was holding back a smile. “Didn’t you eat at the bar?”

“Yeah, but this is a stakeout. I get snacky.”

“Me too. Give me some of those.”

“Get your own!”

“Are you denying your date?” Keith tried pulling the sad puppy eyes trick, but ruined it by snatching the bag from Lance. He grinned as he crunched down on a few.

“Don’t eat them all. Nuts are about the only healthy thing I eat.” He made no move to take the bag back.

Keith snorted. “Are you kidding? Nuts are like ninety percent fat.”

“No.” He took the bag as Keith passed it back. “That’s just a lie spread by Big Bean.”

They passed both quips and the nuts back and forth. It was like back in the precinct, but...different. Keith seemed more relaxed out here, less likely to get annoyed with Lance’s dumb jokes. It was like when he was a kid and hung out with Coran the weird neighbour, or hanging out with Pidge in the academy, or hanging out with Hunk now. He and Keith were just...hanging out. Like friends.

Lance was showing Keith the proper way to catch a peanut in one’s mouth when his phone rang. It was the captain. “Keep practicing. I know you got this, Kogane-chan.” He stepped away to answer it.

“It should be san,” Keith called, followed by a mild curse as he missed yet another peanut.

“Captain,” Lance said, “how are you on this fine night?”

“McClain, I just got word that someone from the night shift can relieve you on the stakeout,” she said. “I know you had big plans for embarrassing Det. Kogane tonight.” He thought he caught a wry tone to her voice.

“Yeah, I did. But.” He glanced back at Keith, who looked far more at ease in his leather jacket on top of a roof at midnight than Lance had previously seen. “You know what, you can tell the relief team to go home. We’re here already and I kind of want to see where this goes.”

“Your call, Detective,” D’Altea said. “Have a good night.”

“What did the captain want?” Keith asked as Lance returned.

“You know, just checking up, see how we are.”

“Look, I figured it out.” Keith threw a whole handful of nuts into the air and managed to catch at least one in his mouth. “The trick is volume,” he said with a grin.

Lance couldn’t help laughing. Was this honestly the same stiff Kogane he met four years ago? It was hard to imagine.

Keith returned to eating more sedately. He looked over the dingy part of the city, quiet now, then turned to Lance. “I know you wanted this to be the worst date in the world or whatever, but I’ve definitely had worse. This doesn’t crack top ten.”

“Yeah, well, it doesn’t even make top fifty for me.” Lance crunched his peanuts thoughtfully. He glanced over to see Keith giving him the side-eye. “What?”

“Ever think that maybe you try too hard?”

“According to my last four dates, a resounding ‘no.’”

“No, I mean, I don’t know.” Keith looked down the street. “Not in terms of making an effort, which you should do, by the way. But it’s like you’re trying to fit into this goofball, butthead role, and it just sabotages you. You are a butthead, granted, but you’re also a great detective, and maybe if people saw that kind of effort and dedication applied to them, you wouldn’t have so many bad dates.” He looked up at Lance. “What?”

Lance realized he was staring and blurted the first thing he thought of. “I can’t believe you called me a butthead.”

It broke the tension, and Keith shoved at his shoulder. “Idiot.”

Lance glanced back down to the street, alarmed at how warm his face felt, when he saw a truck pull up to a loading dock. He slapped Keith on the arm and pointed.

“There’s our guy,” Keith said.

Lance watched the man start to unlock the back of the truck. “We can’t just walk up to him. How do you want to play this?”

Keith grinned that rare evil grin. “I have an idea.”

&&&

Keith stalked down the street with his hands jammed in his pockets and his shoulders hitched up to his ears, every inch the annoyed boyfriend. “I can’t believe you got us lost _again,_ ” he said.

McClain kept three steps back while also looking like he was jogging to keep up. A hell of an acting job, Keith thought. “Well, if you didn’t have to stop to update your Insta-stories every five minutes, maybe we would have caught the right train.”

They bickered back and forth as they came up to the guy in the truck, who eyed them.

“Hey guys,” he said, putting a hand out, “I think you’re in the wrong part of town—”

“Of course we are,” Keith spat out, wheeling around to face the perp. “Because he—” a sharp finger in McClain’s direction, “—is always losing things. His phone, his keys, his way, his _fiancé._ ” With that, Keith ripped the plastic ring off his hand and threw it down the street.

“What the hell!” McClain said, taking a half-step towards where the ring had bounced away. Then he got up in Keith’s face. “What the actual hell is wrong with you. You can’t break up with me. I’m breaking up with you!”

“Hey now,” the guy said, the hand now placating. “Don’t fight. I’m sure you can talk about this.”

He stepped closer, and Keith and Lance simultaneously pulled their guns. “NYPD, you’re under arrest,” Keith said.

“Nice work,” Lance said.

“Thanks,” Keith replied, still a little keyed up from the fake fight. “You too.”

The guy on the ground blew out a breath. “I’m sad I’m getting arrested, but I’m happy you two are back together.”

Lance and Keith only glanced at each other. “Sure, man,” Lance said.

&&&

The next morning, Keith walked into D’Altea’s office to deliver the report on last night’s bust.

“Good work on this one,” D’Altea said. “I admire your and McClain’s dedication last night.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” Keith said.

“I will say I am surprised that McClain didn’t take the relief team when I offered, but he has a certain stubborn streak that occasionally serves him well.”

Keith blinked. “The relief team. Right.” He nodded at the captain. “Always a pleasure getting a criminal off the street.”

He walked back to his desk and tried not to stare at the detective sitting across from him. He cleared his throat and said, “Sorry you didn’t get to carry out all your plans last night. Guess you can add it to the bad-date list.”

Lance shrugged, keeping his eyes on his monitor. “Nah, it goes on the good date list.” He gave Keith a quick glance, as if checking his reaction. “You know, because we caught the bad guy.”

Keith smiled. “That’s a pretty mature way of looking at it.”

“Well, I’m a pretty mature guy,” Lance replied, his natural swagger returning.

Keith’s rebuttal was interrupted by a delivery man calling his name. A very buff delivery man wearing a uniform far too tight to be regulation. He was carrying a boombox.

Keith narrowed his eyes at Lance’s increasingly horrified face. “He’s right there,” Keith said, pointing at his neighbour. “You two have fun,” he added. He stepped away just as 90s club music started up and Lance let out a whimper. Keith didn’t bother to hide his grin.

**Author's Note:**

> Not going to lie, guys, I can't guarantee how often this will be updated. All I know is that this idea took me hard and fast by the throat and held on with the determination of a wolverine. I wanted to follow Jake and Amy's/Lance and Keith's romantic arc with some fun cameos thrown in, so not every episode will be rewritten. Some will get whole chapters, others will get 'snapshots' of fun character moments.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!


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